All children will have times when they disobey the adults who care for them – at home, at school, with relatives, or in the supermarket canned-goods aisle. The effects of a young child’s misbehaviour can range from mild embarrassment to broken goods, minor wounds and damaged friendships. How much naughtiness is normal and when does it become a problem that needs treatment or intervention?
In psychology, there are degrees of naughtiness that are defined somewhat by a child’s age, but more so by the number and types of “naughty” behaviours that they do:
There are times when most young children are reluctant to say goodbye to their mum or dad and head off to crèche/kindergarten/school/child care. Some children are quite spectacular in their protests, while others prefer the silent, cling-like-an-oyster-to-a-rock arrangement.
Some children will experience an intense anxiety experience that is excessive and developmentally inappropriate (not quite right for their age). Children with Separation Anxiety Disorder experience such intense anxiety that it interrupts their lives (and the lives of their family members) and causes an impairment in their education, their school and family relationships and thier social functioning.
It is great when we do a good job of something. There is a real sense of accomplishment when we set a goal and meet it. But…..there is a real difference between working hard to achieve a goal and perfectionism.
People who have a problem with perfectionism measure their self worth on their ability to achieve really high standards. If they do not meet these exceptional standards, then they berate themselves, feel unworthy and push themselves even harder to achieve further and higher goals. Perfectionism can drive people to a point where it is difficult for them to be happy and can be associated with excessive tension, stress, worry and depression.
Yes – it’s on! Mother’s day is upon us and so, too, the carefully crafted junk mail and television commercials – Images of blow-waved children bouncing onto a perfectly ruffled bed on a sun-streamed morning bringing breakfast on a delicately manicured tray while a handsome man with the just right amount of five o’clock shadow smiles on from the bedroom door. Ahhh! Motherhood!
We all know that motherhood is rarely perfect. But – how much leeway is there from “perfect” before it starts to have a detrimental effect on families?
Because of their age and their different little personalities, different children will react differently to the events in Indonesia. There’s no need to purposely expose your primary school age child to these incidents, but if they have questions or look concerned about watching or hearing about it on the news, then check in with them.
Explore what it is they know and how they are making sense of the information they have taken in. Do they know what has happened? Do they understand it? Do they want you to try to explain it? If so, you could try something along the lines of….
Military personnel are more likely to marry and start a family earlier than most others. They are employed in steady work, get on the job training and, these days, a number of additional supports while they work. So, it is not surprising that many military men and women are working parents. Parents may serve in different roles in the military. Some may work on a base and some may be deployed far from home.
When a person goes off to defend a nation, to “keep peace” or to help with aid and reconstruction after some war or force of nature, what happens back at home?
In psychology, when a child is presented with what parents or carers describe as “obsessions”, there are a few things that we need to consider before deciding whether the obsessions are in the realms of “normal” or whether there is a need for treatment. In other words, we need to think about when something is a passion and when it is an obsession. We also need to consider whether the child’s obsessions, compulsions or restricted interests are part of a broader diagnosis like obsessive compulsive disorder, autism, or giftedness.
It is normal for children to repeat play and have fads from time to time. In fact, repetition is one of the ways that we learn. Practice is essentially repeating something over and over again to improve our skill or mastery. The drive behind practice or passion is about self-improvement or a desire to be good or gain mastery over something.
This week on ABC Radio Sunshine Coast I will be covering “Fads and Obsessions”. What were the fads that you remember when you were younger? What is the difference between a fad/phase and an obsession? I’ll talk about understanding fads and obsessions across childhood and when an obsession might be a clinical concern worthy of intervention. Tune in or call in for a chat on Thursday morning after 9:30am on 1300 903 222.
We’ve all felt the feeling of boredom. For some of us it might have been longer ago than others. Many of us have busy and full lives these days, but some children (and some adults) are more prone to experiencing boredom.
While it is normal to feel bored from time to time, a low tolerance for the feeling of boredom has been associated with a number of concerning outcomes including depression and hostile aggression. Those who are boredom prone are also more likely to procrastinate, feel insecure and more likely value the end product of activity (eg payment for work) rather than extract joy and meaning from the activity itself. Boredom has also been cited as a factor in studies of substance use, internet addiction, dropping out of school and marital issues.
Back in the day, well, back in the Ancient Greek day, there was a story about a guy, Narcissus, and the girl who fell for him, Echo. Not a very happy story, I’m afraid, because Narcissus ends up falling in love with his own reflection and both he and Echo are left pining for a love interest that cannot love them back. No, Disney-type happily-ever-after there.
Narcissism is a sad and lonely trait. While most of us are keen to have positive self esteem and feel good about ourselves, extreme levels of narcissism in some people can lead to them being diagnosed with a personality disorder. In extreme cases, narcissists struggle to function in day to day lives and relationships because they are totally driven to feel good about themselves with no care about the expense to others. Narcissists value other people only when they can help them achieve their own self-centred goals. Narcissists often exaggerate their talents and achievements, feel superior to others and believe that they deserve exceptional treatment. They find it hard to tolerate negative feedback and will more likely deny or blame others. They can even re-interpret past events so that they are more self-flattering and they will bias their ideas about others so that they feel like they are more accepted and desired than they may truly be.
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