We’ve all felt the feeling of boredom. For some of us it might have been longer ago than others. Many of us have busy and full lives these days, but some children (and some adults) are more prone to experiencing boredom.
While it is normal to feel bored from time to time, a low tolerance for the feeling of boredom has been associated with a number of concerning outcomes including depression and hostile aggression. Those who are boredom prone are also more likely to procrastinate, feel insecure and more likely value the end product of activity (eg payment for work) rather than extract joy and meaning from the activity itself. Boredom has also been cited as a factor in studies of substance use, internet addiction, dropping out of school and marital issues.
Like most things psychological, a child’s experience of boredom is usually a sum of parts. Some of the parts are outside of the child and have to do with a lack of stimulation in the environment. Other parts are within the child and have to do with tolerance, attention, impulsivity and an ability to create interesting activities for themselves.
When most people experience boredom, they feel it as an unpleasant experience that has low energy and describe it as “unexciting”, “tired” or “depressed”. A smaller number of people experience boredom as unpleasant, but in a high energy way. High energy boredom is usually described as “frustrating” and a precursor for anger.
Whether it’s the high energy or low energy type, boredom is an unpleasant feeling. Indeed, that feeling of unpleasantness could well be boredom’s biggest contribution to our lives. Boredom is a little emotional “blimp” to tell us that there is more that we need to be doing or adding to our lives.
If boredom’s function is to tell us there’s more we need to do, then perhaps we should be explaining boredom’s function to children rather than running around trying to “fix” or cater to their boredom. We need to provide opportunities and guidance to get children to use their boredom as a prompt to getting creative about action.
Different members of your family may have different tolerance to boredom. Also, there will be differences in what each member of your family perceives as being stimulating. When you are busy, down time can be seen as a luxury. For your children, however, especially if they have not learned how to manage down time, it might be quite under-stimulating.
Don’t expect a child to “free-range” if they haven’t had enough experience or practice at this before.
There is a growing movement around mindfulness and learning to “sit with” feelings, but don’t expect that your child will be able to sit with feelings if they haven’t had some guidance. Helping your child manage boredom will take a little coaching. Encourage children to recognise and label their boredom and then to decide whether they want to do something with it. Do they want to try to sit with that feeling or do something about it (maybe something other than just complaining to you about the feeling?)
So, some top tips to help children learn to manage or cope with boredom:
Boredom, like other feelings, is a sign from our body that something needs doing. Without it, I wonder if anyone would have done anything creative or new???
Help your children to learn to use the feeling of boredom as a trigger to sit and watch the feeling or to get creative.
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